Campaign Trail Sighting: Bigfoot Stops at a Diner, Leaves Before the Photo Op

Every candidate eventually gets photographed at a diner holding a slice of pie. Bigfoot stopped at one late Tuesday night. There is no photo.

What the staff told us

The night cook says he came in through the back door, which was locked. He took up the whole corner booth. He didn’t order anything, but he looked at the pie case for a long time, in a way the cook called “very presidential.”

He left eleven pinecones and one really nice rock as a tip.

A regular at the counter reached for his phone. By the time the camera opened, the booth was empty and the back door was still swinging.

What the campaign said

“He likes to meet voters where they are,” a spokesperson told us. “At 2:40 in the morning, that’s a diner.”

Asked whether he’d come back for a proper photo, the campaign pointed us to Photo Op, where you can try taking his picture yourself. So far the results have been “not usable.”

The details

What	Details
How sure are we?	Pretty sure. Something smudged the pie case at seven feet.
Evidence	Pinecones, a rock, a strong smell of cedar
Photos	One, of a door

Seen him somewhere? Maybe keep it to yourself. He’d appreciate that. You can always pledge your vote instead.